"Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots”

– Frank A. Clark

Parents, 

Do you not see that your child is broken? Do you not see the pillowcases stained with tears? Do you not see the way our smile tends to fade as the day goes by?

Children are the purest, most innocent things in the world. They represent all that is good in this world. They are young and full of hope. They do not care that the world does not spin for them. They know that the world moves on, yet they still believe they can stop it from spinning. Children believe they can control the world as if its at the palm of their hands. Children, yes the ones you birth, are like the fairies of this world. Everywhere they go, they leave traces of happiness and hope because like fairies they are magical. Not magical in the sense that they can fly and cast spells, but they are magical in a sense that they have spirits. In a sense that they are invincible. So parents, protect these little magical, tiny humans. In times of failure and anger, give them a reassuring smile. Give them a pat on the back. Give them love. Give them the feeling that though they may have failed, they are still worthy. Though it is perfectly fine to want them to become independent, strong willed human beings that will survive the harsh realities of the world, it is never okay to stomp on the self esteem and worth of your children to do so. The challenges the cruel world gives us is inevitable, but do you want to be the one that exposes them to that, or would you rather be the ones that stand by their side.

What You Say 

From the thing that you say about our bodies to our grades, they hurt. You may not realize it, but it scars us. Every morning, we wake up knowing that you- our own blood and flesh- does not believe in us. What you say matters. We may not act like it does, but trust me, we crave for your approval and love. 

The Things I Wish I Could Tell You 

I wished I could tell you that I hesitate at wanting to become good at something or trying something new because I am afraid of the disappointment I can become. I wished I could tell you that my first heartbreak was not because of a boy. It was because of you. There's so many things I wished I could tell you, but I am afraid you'd laugh in my face.  

We are fragile. We feel. We cry. We laugh. We have emotions like every single person. Sometimes, I feel that you forget that. You forget that we are human, designed to make mistakes. You forget that life is a series of trial and error, where we stumble and fall. And when we do, sometimes we wish you were there to pick us up and tell us to keep on going.

We have dreams too. Our dreams may be different from yours, but does that make them any less important? You do not realize the amount of dreams you have crushed, and the amount of self-hatred you have produced. You do not see the amount of dreams and wants that I trashed to fit this mold of who you want me to be. And you wonder why I hate myself, when I can't even be who I want to be. 

The things I wished I could tell you. The amount of times where I wished you would ask me to sit down and tell you all the things on my chest. The amount of times where I wished I could have and honest conversation with you, showing you my tears. Is it too hard to ask for a conversation?

What you have done to me; the repercussions

1. You have made me feel worthless. 

Sometimes, I feel that no matter how hard I try, I will never be good enough for you. You would think that being constantly yelled about my incompetence would encourage us to work better and harder. However, sometimes, It does the exact opposite. We feel that you don't see the countless nights where we study to get that perfect grade. Sometimes, we try- we really do, but you never seem to see that. 

2. You made me a robot

When I was little, you were my diary. I told you everything- my darkest, deepest secrets to the simple things like what I ate at school. You knew everything about my life, and I was excited and so open to share with you. However, when the heated fights began, the transparency between us dissipated. I didn't want to tell you things because I wanted to guard myself. The thing is I really want to tell you everything from the smallest detail to the most dramatic one, but I am so afraid of what you may say to me. The weird thing is that I got so accustomed to your words, and what felt like bullets soon didn't even hurt at all. I've become a robot.  No emotions. No stories. Nothing. Just emptiness.

3. Sometimes, you unknowingly make me go the darkest corners of my mind

There's days where I feel like the world has stopped truly caring for me. Days where I feel like hell has unleashed, and I want so desperately to crawl into your arms and feel safe. However, I don't. I take the challenge on my own because "this is the real world." On days like this, the days we really need you, we often go to the darkest corners of our minds. The ones that tell us to do horrible things.

I love You

I still love you. Always will and always have. Despite the words that you say, I still love you. That's the funny thing about family. Though they may be your biggest bullies, you will always have a place for them in your hearts. So please, open your arms for me, and before you know it, I will be there.